Ironic Advice

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


The other day I'm at a fast food restaurant at City Creek. I order my food, and add a large Diet Coke because it had been a long day. The girl helping me out is a little awkward (staring at me way too long and the like). She asks me what the difference is between Diet Coke and regular Coke. 
I tell her that Diet Coke does not taste as sweet. I tell her I like the taste better. She is not reacting to what I am saying, so, for added effect, I smile and say:

"Plus it has all that aspartame so it's way worse for you."

I wink. I think I'm being funny and charming. 

Somehow, in the mist of that short conversation, the cashier at the register next to the one I am ordering at joins in:

"Yeah, Diet Coke is horrible." 

I note that she is being very serious. I smile. 

"It's the WORST drink you could EVER drink." 

My smile is straining. I start to think: this is too ironic to be happening to me. 

"It WILL kill you."

She's looking at me with grave concern. I can't help myself:

"Funny how the lady behind the FAST FOOD counter is giving me HEALTH advice. If I wanted anyone's health advice, I certainly wouldn't be ordering from a FAST FOOD restaurant." 

She remains silent with her arms crossed. She almost looks like she's pitying me. 

I wonder if she gives the same "it WILL kill you" speech to everyone that orders a french fry. 
The point of this story is not whether or not Diet Coke is bad for you- the point of the story is that a fast food employee was acting like my weight watchers coach and that's not cool. 

I feel like I don't eat like a total pig, but sometimes I want my food fast and without a side of judgement. 
Am I wrong in that? 

5 comments:

  1. Nah. Totally not wrong. That fast-food situation was CRAY-CRAY.

    See, I even used the term "CRAY-CRAY" and I don't do that often. This story made me do that.

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  2. It's funny, I've heard tons since my husband, his brother and his sister work at McDonalds, well he works at subway now (a bit healthier :P ) and anyway looking into it you will probably die of all the fat in burgers and stuff before the aspartam in diet coke (which I LOVE). It's just plain ridiculous :) they're lucky their manager wasn't around, I would have loved to see his/her face for them saying that type of things to customers! That will bring them back!

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  3. One cashier would've just been funny, but TWO? How surreal. I can't even imagine what was going on inside these persons' heads. Were they teenagers? Because I can easily imagine the rising generation having zero capacity to think rationally about food/health; they've been raised in an era of insane alarmism on those topics.

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  4. That was the weird thing- the woman going on and on was like, my mom's age. Usually I prefer customer service from anyone over 40 which is why I found the whole thing so confusing.

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