Ironic Advice

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The other day I'm at a fast food restaurant at City Creek. I order my food, and add a large Diet Coke because it had been a long day. The girl helping me out is a little awkward (staring at me way too long and the like). She asks me what the difference is between Diet Coke and regular Coke. 
I tell her that Diet Coke does not taste as sweet. I tell her I like the taste better. She is not reacting to what I am saying, so, for added effect, I smile and say:

"Plus it has all that aspartame so it's way worse for you."

I wink. I think I'm being funny and charming. 

Somehow, in the mist of that short conversation, the cashier at the register next to the one I am ordering at joins in:

"Yeah, Diet Coke is horrible." 

I note that she is being very serious. I smile. 

"It's the WORST drink you could EVER drink." 

My smile is straining. I start to think: this is too ironic to be happening to me. 

"It WILL kill you."

She's looking at me with grave concern. I can't help myself:

"Funny how the lady behind the FAST FOOD counter is giving me HEALTH advice. If I wanted anyone's health advice, I certainly wouldn't be ordering from a FAST FOOD restaurant." 

She remains silent with her arms crossed. She almost looks like she's pitying me. 

I wonder if she gives the same "it WILL kill you" speech to everyone that orders a french fry. 
The point of this story is not whether or not Diet Coke is bad for you- the point of the story is that a fast food employee was acting like my weight watchers coach and that's not cool. 

I feel like I don't eat like a total pig, but sometimes I want my food fast and without a side of judgement. 
Am I wrong in that? 


  1. Nah. Totally not wrong. That fast-food situation was CRAY-CRAY.

    See, I even used the term "CRAY-CRAY" and I don't do that often. This story made me do that.

  2. It's funny, I've heard tons since my husband, his brother and his sister work at McDonalds, well he works at subway now (a bit healthier :P ) and anyway looking into it you will probably die of all the fat in burgers and stuff before the aspartam in diet coke (which I LOVE). It's just plain ridiculous :) they're lucky their manager wasn't around, I would have loved to see his/her face for them saying that type of things to customers! That will bring them back!

  3. One cashier would've just been funny, but TWO? How surreal. I can't even imagine what was going on inside these persons' heads. Were they teenagers? Because I can easily imagine the rising generation having zero capacity to think rationally about food/health; they've been raised in an era of insane alarmism on those topics.

  4. That was the weird thing- the woman going on and on was like, my mom's age. Usually I prefer customer service from anyone over 40 which is why I found the whole thing so confusing.


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