Weird Conversations - Part 1

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Last night I came home from the store with yet ANOTHER encounter with someone who just HAD to share their opinion with me. Having people go out of their way to tell me what they think is something that has only happened (on a regular basis) since moving to Utah and one of the reasons I am so over living here. But maybe it's not where I live. Maybe it's me. Perhaps something about me just SCREAMS that I need to guided. I don't know. I do know that I am not making these weird conversations up. I used to have lots of witty replies but I have since become exhausted and usually just walk away quickly.

Scott told me that I really need to document all of these and suggested a regular post on my blog haha! Some of them are pretty ridiculous so I thought it was a good idea.
There are more where these came from that are much, much worse but these are the worst ones that have happened to me IN THE LAST 10 DAYS. Anyone else deal with this problem on a regular basis?

The following are actual conversations and what I actually said or did, but in italics are things I wish/thought about doing/saying but didn't.
Like I said- exhausted.

Checking out at Hobby Lobby:
Early 20's Female Cashier: (looking at my belly) How far along are you?
Me: Oh, about 30 weeks
Cashier: Are you having a boy or a girl?
Me: A little girl.
Cashier: Is this your first?
Me: Nope, my second.
Cashier: Do you have a boy or a girl?
Me: A girl.
Cashier: Do you want a boy?
Me: (starting to feel agitated by the fast paced interrogation) ... well, I'm not going to try for one...
Cashier: How many do you want before you're done?
Me: This is an insanely personal question and I don't know why it's happening right now. Um... 3?
Cashier: And then you'll be done?
Me: I'm done with this conversation. I don't really know.... I think I'm going to get through this pregnancy first...
Cashier: (abruptly) Well, have a good night!

While looking for flowers at Costco on Mother's Day weekend, I noticed that most of them were wilted and old. I was having a hard time picking any out for my Mother-in-law since they all looked so sad. So I said to Scott:
"I don't know, these all look kind of ugly"
To which a woman next to me looks at me like I am the biggest IDIOT she has ever seen and, with raised/furrowed brow says to me:
"They are kind of tulips."
I walked away without a word because I truly didn't understand why what I said was so horribly offensive. It's not like I was standing in her yard commenting on her garden or something...

Browsing at Old Navy
Woman: (tapping me on the shoulder) I hate when strangers tap me on the shoulder. This better be really important. They have a great maternity section at the Old Navy in Layton.
Me: That was not important enough to touch me. Oh, okay thank you.
Woman: Yeah, they are the only Old Navy in Utah that has a maternity section. You should go there.
Me: (looking at the two shirts I was holding- both from this location's maternity section): Oh, actually, they have a small maternity section in the back where I grabbed these.
Woman: No. They don't have a maternity section here.
Me: You're right. I'm lying to you. Have a good day. Well, it's kind of hidden.
Woman: There's only one in all of Utah and it's in Layton.

Luckily, there were a couple of Old Navy employees nearby that saved me from the conversation, but I could hear her trying to convince them of her maternity section reality as I escaped.

Checking out at Kohls
Early 20's Male Cashier: (holding up a microwavable heating pad I was purchasing) You know you can make one of these really easy right?
Me: Yeah, I don't have time.
Cashier: I'm just saying it's really easy to make and then you don't have to buy it. I can whip one up in a couple of minutes at midnight.
Me: (making very deliberate eye contact) If I had time to whip one up at midnight, I wouldn't need the therapeutic relaxation pillow in the first place.
Geez! Can't a woman use her Kohls cash to buy herself a little belated Mother's Day gift in peace?!


  1. These are amazing and horrifying. I don't understand why this is always happening to you.

  2. wow.

    ...just wow.

  3. I have the conversations regularly when pregnant, in Boise. They often accompany some one touching my stomach without permission. I also get lots of comments regarding my children's closeness in age, if I'm done, how many I want, etc. This happens in stores, parks, etc. But I haven't ever had someone critique me on buying a diet coke and mcdonalds or commenting on costco flowers or buying a heating pad. Crazy people. Please keep these coming.

  4. things i have learned from reading this: a. i really don't want to move to Utah. b. you seem to shop a lot. c. the last one was just to get a reaction. hahaha!

    1. I actually did do a lot of shopping this week and totally thought the same thing as I typed this up haha! Instead of part 1, 2, 3, etc I should just name them. This one would be "weird conversations while shopping." Next up will be "weird conversations at the park." Those are nuts.

  5. This is bananas. I think you've paid your dues. I think, from now on, you can just shut these loons down without feeling too badly about it.

    Once, I was poked in the back (in a weird attempt to get my attention--it worked) in line at Shake Shack, and it took me DAYS to get over being super annoyed about it. What's wrong with just saying, "excuse me?"?

    1. Yes! Thank you! I'm a pretty open person, but please don't touch me when I don't know you or can't SEE you!

  6. Haha! I for one hope you do NOT stop having these conversations. Although I'm sure quite annoying at the time... it's worth it for the entertainment you provide to us. ;-)

    My mother never taught me not to poke strangers... I think she assumed that I was smart enough to know not to do that. Which, thankfully, I am. Apparently some people need to be taught...

    1. I'm glad people are acknowledging how horrifying it is to be poked in public by a stranger. Seriously- I have thought of it as a manners thing... Because I have never had the urge to touch someone I didn't know to get their attention!

  7. Whut. Yikes. I am incensed on your behalf.

    This was really entertaining to read, though. I can't decide which is funnier, the "ONLY IN LAYTON" lady or the sewing-savvy cashier.

    Also, what's up with vendors actively discouraging you from buying their company's merchandise? I mean, I realize they're minimum-wage cashiers, but still.

  8. ha! oh my gosh, these are classic! I fee like I need to start recording some of my own encounters... :)
    (ps. found you through Miss indie blog! Being an Idaho resident, the Boise, ID tote totally caught my eye!)


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