Stereotypes are bad even when they're good.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


All Mormons are good at music.

Generally, there are a lot of very talented Mormons. They sing, they dance, they act. They usually can play the piano.

But, some of us were baptized in a font that did NOT give us musical ability after coming up out of the water. Some of us can't sing. Or play the piano. Or sight-read music.

I don't like it when people expect that I can play the piano. Sorry, I gave up on those lessons once I was told my hands had to do two things at the same time. So, no. I won't embarrass myself by plunking one-handed on the piano, no matter how desperate you are for accompaniment.

Now don't get me wrong, I feel like I can hold a semblance of a tune, singing wise, but when I sit in church I sing very quiet because everyone around me sounds like opera singers and I get embarrassed while I struggle with the alto-line.

Let's not get started on the anxiety I feel when my in-laws have "singing programs" on holidays. They all can either play an instrument, or make Charlotte Church sound like a toad. For a girl who's only been in the family a little over a year, these programs are the most humiliating thing in the world. But I suck it up, because hey! I'm LDS- so I MUST feel comfortable singing solo's in a "low pressure" PERFORMANCE where all eyes are on me.
Haven't I done that in church?
No. I haven't.

JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE THE MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR, IT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN ALL SING LIKE IT!

Anyway, I'm just saying, don't expect all Mormon's to have musical ability.
Some of us only sing in the shower.

5 comments:

  1. The only thing musical i know how to do is listen. and Conduct a 4:4 hymn badly.

    This post cracks me up

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  2. Amen Sista! Let the Herald Angels sing, but let me sit and listen and rejoice in their beauty!

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  3. Why are you even comparing yourself to others? You do have a good singing voice, but that's besides the point-- you do so many other things amazingly that others can't even begin to touch! I remember going to your play and being so moved by your performance as Lady McDuff that I totally started bawling. Just saying.

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  4. and anyways, I do sing but having lived in Idaho and now -UTAH- it doesn't matter. I am one of the masses. You are special and unique because you DON'T sing. It makes you interesting. Too many Mormons sing and stuff. BORING. ;)(besides- you do a mean Pumba.)

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  5. and p.s. I don't care who sounds like an opera singer or loud pop star(obnoxious) in church. You should sing how you feel no matter what.

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I like to hear all of the beautiful things you have to say.