Friday Fibs Part 7

Friday, January 25, 2013

I have found that if I want something, I can use a fake accent. This is not to say that I am amazing at dialects- I am not. But it does not take much to fool somebody into thinking "you're not from around here are you" so it's hard to resist. Especially when I am impatient.

Like driving through at McDonald's. I always crave my Diet Coke when the world is off for lunch hour and I do not like sitting in line waiting for people to get their food while all I want is a soda. And I know it's my own fault for going during lunch and who am I to feel entitled to less of a wait and blah blah blah.

One day, I kindly ask if I could get my drink at the first window instead of the second. The voice in the intercom was LESS than pleased with me. Like, he was really REALLY put off that  I would ask that. I told him I totally understood and that I thought I would ask anywaythankyou. When I pulled up, he gave me a stink eye and a lecture about how "they don't do that."


The next time I go to get my soda, I am waiting in a monstrous line and I start thinking:
Southern people can say whatever they want. They can call you fat and ugly but because of their accents and smiles you would think they were giving you a compliment.

When I pull up to order, I say in my thickest Tennessee accent (the sing-song Nashville kind):
"I'd like a large Diet Coke please. And darlin' could you do me the biggest favor in the world and have it at the first window so I don't have to wait in this line?"

"Sure we can do that."


But maybe it wasn't the accent, I start to think as I roll forward. Maybe it's a nice person.

When I pull up to the first window, my Coke is ready and I gush:
"You just done made my WHOLE day! Thank you SO much!"

And I swear to you, the lady blushes. THEN, two other ladies pop out from around the corner as if they were trying to get a glimpse of me. One of them shouts:
"We love your accent!"

Yeah. I think it was Nashville Carrie that got away with that one.


  1. I feel like EVERY time I go to McDonalds for a Diet Coke, I'm behind a huge suburban and I can hear them ordering. "OK, 5 happy meals, 1 with chicken nuggets, 2 with no, 2 with nuggets..and..let's see...what comes on a big mac? Wait, on those happy meals, lets do just ONE with nuggets...and two root beers...well, one root beer and one water..." and I just want to bash my head into my steering wheel and start sobbing. If having an accent got me my Coke faster, I would do it, too.

  2. You are crazy! I love it!


I like to hear all of the beautiful things you have to say.