Every Friday for the next little while I am documenting some little lies I have said in the past that have gotten me into awkward situations.
For a full explanation see Friday Fibs Part I
Quite a while ago, Scott and I were crashing at Amber and Lucas's apartment like we would usually do. We're talking and laughing and probably eating cookies. As nature would have it, I suddenly have to use the bathroom because, well... I was on my period and I had to go take care of myself.
Now, I don't know about you, but I find it incredibly awkward to wad up a bloody tampon in toilet paper and put it in your friends waste basket. I mean, what if they FOUND it or something? What else do you do with it, though? I'm not gonna put it in my purse or something, so, I flush it. Not the pink plastic part, but I flush the gross part.
And then their toilet gets clogged.
Suddenly having them find the tampon in the trash seem a helluva lot less awkward then them plunging it out of their toilet. I'm standing over the bowl totally mortified.
I get myself together and decide to be nonchalant and apologetic. I come out of the bathroom and tell them: "I'm so sorry, but your toilet's clogged."
Then Lucas, without missing a beat, looks at me and asks: "You didn't flush a tampon, did you?"
Okay so here's my friend who I used to know as an ELDER in my mission (am I right, former sisters?) asking me if I just flushed my feminine product down his toilet and clogged it. Amber and Scott are joining him in staring at me and waiting for my answer. I was so flustered and embarrassed.
I practically screamed "NO!" as if such an idea was so impossibly below me.
"Good," Lucas continued, "because we've been having septic tank issues and that would do it."
"Right, of course." I'm talking but I'm not blinking. I'm just staring back at everyone like a crazy person. "Scott, could I talk to you for minute?"
I pull Scott into the bathroom and in harsh whispers explain my panic: "I DID flush a tampon! What do we do? Can you help me find a plunger? We need to plunge this!"
Scott is totally confused as to why I'm suddenly freaking out on him in hushed tones in the bathroom... but a smirk went across his face as he began to understand. I realize then that HE wasn't going to be any help in covering my lie, so I did what I had to do.
I ran out into the living room and desperately proclaimed: "I LIED! I DID FLUSH A TAMPON!"
Of course, this makes Amber and Lucas crack up laughing and Lucas, with no qualms at all goes and plunges the toilet like it's no big deal.
I'm grateful we're still friends with them- I know a few of couples who would tell you someone clogging their toilet and then lying about it would be a deal breaker.