"Oh! Are you pregnant?!"

Monday, June 28, 2010

About once a month I have SOMEONE ask me if I'm pregnant. Not like my friends that know us, but like, strangers and acquaintances that glance at my stomach and ask me if I'm pregnant. It's been going on for awhile now. Like, before I was married.

Once, it was a guy at a parking class. He asked the personal question while rubbing his belly. Yeah. I never wore that shirt again.

Another time it was a lady I visit teach:
"Are you expecting? We've all been so excited for you!"

What?! Who the crap are "we?" THEN she started talking about a lady in our church congregation who was ready to POP and she said:
"I didn't even know she was pregnant!"

You didn't know the 8 months along lady was pregnant, but you thought I was? Really?

It has been the husband of the couple we just met in our student ward. It has been the lady in the grocery store. It's been a 2nd grade class I substituted (not that I blamed THEM).

Seriously. About once a month. Like clockwork.

Well, as most of you know, I've been working hard to get my weight down. I've felt good- like the best I've felt in a long time. And yesterday I went to visit my friend Amber at the hotel she was working at. You know, due-in-4-weeks-Amber? Some COMPLETE STRANGER MAN walks by us and says:

"Oh how fun. You're both expecting aren't you?"

I didn't say anything. I really was speechless. Amber stumbled over some lame "oh she's just wearing an empire waist" excuse while I buried my face in my chest. He stumbled over some lame apology and hurried out the front door.

I cried.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I mean, I know that I don't have a flat belly, and I can arch my back something fierce, but I really focus on standing up straight and try my darnd'st to wear flattering clothes. Maybe I have a really skewed body image of myself. Maybe I really do look like I'm about to go into labor.

Either way, it is SO FREAKING RUDE to ask someone if they are pregnant unless they are like, hitting you in the FACE with their stomach. And even then, why are you asking?

I told my mom that the next time someone asks me that, I'm going to make them cry.
"YES!" She responded, "They make you cry!"

So don't ask me if I'm pregnant-or-just-fat because I will respond in the following ways:

-"That's a really rude thing to say seeing as I'm struggling with infertility"

-"Why are you ASKING me if I'm pregnant? What if I'm not? To me, your question really is asking: 'are you pregnant or are you just fat?"

-"I WAS 6 months pregnant..."

-"Yes. I'm due tomorrow."

-"I'm a virgin. And while we're asking personal questions: do you have any STD's or history of mental illness?"

Okay, okay.

And for those of you who are close friends and family of mine that lovingly inquire if I'm pregnant, please know that this doesn't apply to you. It applies to strangers/cameo's in my life who let all their tact go based off of the size of my stomach.

Really. It's just so rude.


  1. i love you. i'm 13 weeks pregnant and kind of in the awkward "is she pregnant or fat?" stage and i love messing with people so when they ask "are you pregnant?" or "when are you due?" or "you have such a cute belly!" I give them a very confused look and say "thanks?" or my favorite response to "you have such a cute belly!" is "Thanks! its the taco bell i had for lunch."

  2. That is really stupid that people do that, especially since:

    a) you are GORGEOUS

    b) you don't look even remotely look pregnant

    c) you can never be sure in this obese society we live in and

    d) people shouldn't ask unless like you said the tummy is all the wait out to Mars and they look about to pop

  3. I was so ticked for you all night. That guy was an idiot!

  4. Oh my goodness you do NOT look pregnant!!! what's wrong with people!!!?

    I really hope you go through with your list of come-backs if it ever happens again. Maybe it will teach them a lesson!

  5. Carrie...I am always watching my newlywed gal pals' tummys for signs of a baby bump...and even though I don't get to see you alot, I've NEVER suspected it of you.

    Seriously, some people should not be allowed to talk. Or be in public places without a handler.


  6. PLEASE give that last line to the next person who asks you that. Some people are just so rude.

    It really creeps me out when random strangers just walk up and ask if you're pregnant, offer congratulations, or, worse, try to pat your belly and "feel the baby". AUGH.

    But seriously, about those comebacks.... good stuff...

  7. Oh my gosh Carrie! I'm so mad! You do NOT look pregnant. At all! I seriously don't understand why a) someone would think you are & b) why they would have so little tact & say something about it. You really should make them cry. Teach them a life long lesson, but then I'm kind of mean like like...

  8. Seriously. It just baffles me. And I thought everybody knew and joked about how no one should EVER assume a woman is pregnant. When Jesse and I first got married, I gained like 10 pounds. Cause you do. Cause you cook meat and potatoes instead of tossing back a bowl of cereal with your roommates. Anyway, whenever I'd see someone I hadn't seen in a while, (although most didn't have the nerve or the tackiness to ask), I could SEE them looking at--ANALYZING my belly! It made me so self-concious. Don't get me started on the stupid pregnancy-related things people say. Oi vey.

  9. thats one thing I never do is ask someone if they are pregnant unless they tell me. Ive had people ask me the same thing and it really does hurt. My little girl is 20 months old and I still have the preggo belly look. I find myself constantly trying to suck it so I dont get that readed question anymore. Keep your chin up, your beautiful!!!

  10. Really? Like... really? I consider myself a pretty keen observer of the human form, and it has never entered my head that you looked pregnant. SO WEIRD that people say this to you. I think it's a combination of the pronounced back-arch, empire waists, and the fact that you immediately strike people as being very open and approachable. Oh, and that you have awesome boobs.

  11. That happened to me after I had my daughter. I was at Target about a month after I had her and someone asked me when I was due. The hormones were still pumping strong and I burst out sobbing. I think that it was even better (and more awkward) than making them cry. Maybe you should practice crying at the drop of a hat :P

  12. Holy comments! Thanks for the support everyone! I'm happy everyone else thinks this is just as dumb as I do. I'm just going to look on the bright side here and agree with Annie that it's just because I have awesome boobs :)
    Love you guys!

  13. that's like the number one faux pas ever! IDIOTS! make em cry.

  14. i am seriously laughing out loud at this post. not because the jerk made you feel bad, but because of how ridiculous it really is. carrie you aren't going to believe me, but even before i was married due to my bad posture and even while i was married AND struggling with infertility, people would ask me if i was pregnant. yes genetically skinny due to no work of my own me. i've been there, felt the hurt that comes from it. people are morons. you have always looked amazing to me, i have always envied your beauty and style - both of which i feel i generally lack over all. i love your looks but more importantly i love your honesty of character, your sense of humor, your firey whit and personality, and your choice in an eternal companion. you are the whole package. next time someone asks, say "no" and ask them if they have recently had a sex change, that'll put 'em straight. love you. please feel happy you love what you are and not what you feel you are not.


  15. so even if you did look prego (im sure you dont) why do all these strangers/ppl you barely know, have guts enough to ask. that is crazy.

    just a side note.. i bet it has alot to do with your posture and little to do with you stomach. that should make you feel better.


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