"The truth which has made us free will in the end make us glad also." -Felix Adler

Monday, July 27, 2009

For some reason I have been a grumpy-negative-pants for the past few weeks. I feel like I'm constantly on an emotional roller coaster, feeling happier than ever and then suddenly hating everything around me. And then lately, it's been more downhill than up. I have been trying to be more positive by cutting the stress out of my life in various ways, but in the end, I always end up feeling overwhelmed and more uptight than before. I have been reading my scriptures more fervently, and praying more, but most days it feels like another task I've completed and am able to check off my always growing to-do list.

So for right now, in my efforts to be less stressed and more in tune with the spirit, I would like to give a warm welcome to the seven-week break.

I'm so excited to have seven weeks with my husband where all we have to do is work. My goal this break is to take a detailed view of everything I'm grateful for, and follow the spirit as I seek guidance to a life that is less full of guilt and self inflicted, unessicary pressure. In a word, My goal is: Gratitude. Because I learned on my mission that gratitude=being effective.Every week, I'll be taking an inventory of the beauty around me and record it here so that I'll have the accountable to whoever reads this. Hopefully I can be able to go back over this in a few weeks and see a change. I want to be one of those positive people you read about in the Ensign.

To start off my gratitude journey, I would like to make mention of the things in my life that truly do bring me joy:

*The gospel. I can't express enough appreciation to God for giving me the knowledge that He lives, He loves me, and that I can live with Him again with my family. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
*My husband. That was an obvious one. Although we are newlyweds and still trying to get used to living with one another and all the complicated aspects of marriage, he is always cool, calm and collected. This balances me out and even though I sometimes get frusterated that he doesn't get as ticked off as I do about "the little things" I'm very grateful to know that he will always be a steady and constant reminder of what's important in life.
*Improvisational Theatre. It might sound like a stretch to you, but without some form of theatre in my life, I would probably explode. Improv is an outlet that allows me to explore truth in an abstract way. Without it, I probably would never be able to solve the problems I come across.

Now, I know this sounds negative, but it's hot in my apartment and I can't stand the way my forearms are sticking my desk as I type this, so I'm gonna stop for this week.


See- this is the sort of thing I would like to not be so annoyed with by the end of the seven weeks.

Wish me luck as I try to be a happier camper!

1 comment:

  1. Can I mention that the same thing happened to me - negativity, mood swings, anxiety etc. - and I later realized it was because of the birth control I was on. (apparently they all effected me this way, but maybe you could try a different pill/dosage to see if that helps). Just a thing to consider it could obviouusly have nothing to do with that, but my experience with it was so severe that I just want to make sure that others are aware.
    (Moving on) it seems like you are doing muy fabulouso at becoming more grateful, thanks for your good example. I wish we lived closer. I hope we will be able to get together the weekend of Scott's birthday if you will be in town. Man I miss having friends....
    Lots of love your way
    *I'm so glad you had a great birthday!


I like to hear all of the beautiful things you have to say.