Unless The Woman is Crowning...

I gained 55 lbs when I was pregnant with Georgia. After I had her, I lost 45lbs. Then, for a number of reasons, I gained back 35 of that. What some would say is "baby weight" is not. It is a whole separate kind of weight.

The point is, I am the biggest I have ever been. I have gotten over the self-loathing phase (sort of) and moved on to doing something. I bought a treadmill, set it up next to my computer and every week day, I walk while catching up on shows on Hulu and Netflix. Since I got my treadmill a month ago, I have lost 10lbs. This might not seem amazing to some, but it has made a difference to me. And sure, I am big enough that 10lbs isn't incredibly noticeable, but I notice and I have focused on that.

I carry almost all of my weight in my belly, and for this reason I have a lot of people (my whole life- even when I was skinny) ask me if I am pregnant. I used to get so bothered by this, but I usually just corrected the person and explained that it's just the way my body is made.

Last time this happened was in August, and started looking for a treadmill that day.
I was very tired of being asked that question.

I am the Junior Primary Chorister in my church organization (this means I teach singing time to kids 18months to 6 years old). I have the sweetest woman who works with me during singing time and she is always smiling and very complimentary. I was pleased when she mentioned that I "always look so cute" today. Then, right before I went up to start singing time she lovingly advised:

"Don't jump around too much up there or that baby will fall out!"

I looked around for my friend who is 8months pregnant, but she was not around.
Then I knew she was talking to me.

But this was not just a "when are you due?" or "are you pregnant?"
It was two things:

1. A comment of assurance that she thought I was pregnant
2. A comment that said she thought I was SO pregnant that if I "jumped around too much" my assumed baby would FALL out.

I did not say anything. What do you say to incredibly nice people who you realize has been complimenting you all along because they thought you looked good for a pregnant lady? What do you say when you have used up ALL of the ways to tell people that you are not actually pregnant, you are just fat?

What is amazing to me is how little this whole thing bothered me. I did not cry. I did not feel insecure in front of those loving children. I have gone about my day as normal. I am used to this now... and that is what I feel sad about.

This time it was different though. I have been working hard to never hear that comment again (unless I'm actually pregnant). And when you work hard on something and someone implies that all of your hard work is not paying off, it can be beyond frustrating. Writing this now, I am feeling more emotion about it than before so I'm going to stop.

Anyway, that is my rant. I am not begging for a billion compliments with this post- I am simply saying that unless you see the lady crowning- you should probably not mention that you think she is pregnant.